South Carolinians Shudder at Thought of Tebow Playing Baseball in Columbia

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As news of former NFL footballer, Tim Tebow, signing with the New York Mets sank in, South Carolinians came to the unnerving realization that the former Heisman Trophy winner could end up playing for Mets’ Single A affiliate, the Columbia Fireflies.  Currently on a developmental assignment, Tebow could begin working his way through the MLB ranks, beginning in Columbia.

 

“I get it.  The guy’s athletic.  He’s probably sick of being stuffed into his ill-fitting suits and grunting his way through sportscasts all the time, but come on.  Haven’t we had enough of this guy?”  An inconsolable Fireflies fan said, who asked to remain nameless.  “It’s bad enough that he’s from F-F-F-Florida.  Now, we’re just supposed to let bygones be bygones and root for him as he and Jesus patrol right field?”

 

Official word of Tebow’s assignment has yet to be announced.  When TehState.com’s sports reporter asked a Fireflies official for a comment, he replied, “Who are you, again?”  More details as this story develops.

About the Author

Intrepid Reporter
I'm a reporter, and I'm intrepid. I like shrimp & grits, and all that is holy. Sometimes I like to cover myself in lard and roll around naked on my backyard lawn. This site is a parody of The State newspaper, which is a legitimate, good news source. You should read them, not us.

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