Washington, DC — Sitting in his chair at the Senate dental office on Thursday, Congressman Trey “Benghazi” Gowdy (R-SC) declared to do “WHATEVER IT TAKES!” to convince President-elect Donald Trump to nominate him for Attorney General of the United States.
“My bunghole is shaved, my haircut is changed, and now my teeth will be GONE. Hillary Clinton is going to be indicted by the Justice Department, that I can guarantee you,” an orange-tinged Gowdy mumbled to Teh State reporters.
Later that afternoon, President-elect Trump was visibly impressed when seen leaving the men’s room outside of Gowdy’s office. “Tremendous. Just brilliant, that guy. He’s the best,” Trump shouted to reporters as he strode to a meeting with Speaker Paul Ryan.
As Gowdy emerged from the men’s room, he was flushed and confident. “I’f done it. It isth done. I will make ith happen. Whew. Doeth anybody haff a thic thac? Guy eath a lot of asparagus and stheak.”
Your a sick SOB