Doomsday preppers were treated to a delightful surprise when Sam’s Club released its “Instant Savings” mailer upon the world, this past week. Located on page 17, the wholesaler/retailer offered $700 off Augason Farms® “Emergency Food Storage Kit and/or Variety Pail”. Rated for one year’s worth of rations for four persons, Sam’s Club advertised “No limit” on the amount available for individual purpose.
“This sort of news is huge,” said Cyrus Gristlecox, a doomsday prepper from Aynor, South Carolina. “You know the day is coming when Oh-bama and his cronies are going to drop the hammer on us freedom-loving patriots. This will help us be ready for that day.” As he lovingly oiled his NR5 Steyer AUG assault rifle, Gristlecox’ eyes began to glisten. “When I built this house on a foundation of gallon pork ‘n bean cans, I told my family it wouldn’t be enough. Now, the good folks at Sam’s Club have made it possible to keep our pure bloodlines going through the coming apocalypse.”
Sam’s Club advises the offer is valid online and while supplies last.
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