Columbia, SC — Undaunted by his failed attempt at introducing a transgender bathroom bill in this legislative session, Senator Lee Bright (R, Spartanburg) vows to oppress SOME group when the legislature reconvenes in 2017.
Resolute in his conviction that “the Devil is taking control of this land!”, Bright is determined to successfully target a minority group.
“We’ve got the top scientists and doctors, like Dr. Mercola and Dr. Oz, looking into these here trisomy mutants. I ain’t never seen no mutant that done anything good on the X-Men. And God Almighty never created no mutant child. It’s the work of the Devil!”
Bright’s proposed Defense of Diploidy Act will be introduced early in the 2017 legislative session, in hopes that any opposition will have ample time to be crushed by underhanded legislative maneuvers and riders.
Under Bright’s proposed law, those born with extra chromosomes (at any position) will be banned from using public restrooms, as well as public libraries, which will face crippling cuts to state aid upon admitting “chromosome mutants,” in Bright’s words.
Enforcement will require deployment of compact, rapid karyotyping rigs at the entrance to every bathroom and library in the state. Painless tissue sampling will indicate status instantly, via flashing green “ENTER!” or red “BANNED!” lights.
“I don’t want to take no chances that my children will be skeered in the bathroom or library by them Devil-spawned mutants!” Bright vowed.
Bright has been working closely with Senator Mike Fair (R, Greenville) to draft the bill. As a backup, the Senators are also looking at banning belief in evolution throughout South Carolina public schools, under pain of budget cuts.
Wow, this guy is an idiot. Please vote this embarrassment out of office. He has set this state back 3 decades just by opening his mouth. For the first time I am ashamed to tell people I live in Spartanburg. Thanks Lee. Please vote for Scott Talley.