Barnwell, SC — Citing a “sincere misleading of the truth, or thereabouts”, novice raccoon hunter and racist bastard Andy “Spanky” Harrellzon filed “law papers” against the Hominy Raccoon Hunting Club in the state circuit court of Barnwell on Wednesday. Harrellzon turned cagey when Teh State reporters asked why it was a “Truth in advertising” suit.
“Well…I don’ really wanna say, ‘zactly. My daddy and peepaw tole me all about these hunts when I was growin’ up, and this weren’t nothin’ like I heard about,” Harrellzon opined as he was exiting the courthouse.
When pressed by Teh State’s reporter regarding what exactly he meant, Harrellzon looked downward and stated, “Well I don’t want to get into all that. I mean…you’d a thunk the ol’ ways and traditions were still alive, but I guess they just ain’t. It’s a shame.”
Raymond Ledbetter, President of the Hominy Raccoon Hunting Club, appeared nonplussed. “I thought it was weird when he showed up with a huge rope, and a bucket of tar, but what do I know? I tried to tell him a shotgun would work better for when they’re in the trees, but he was adamant that we’d need the tar ‘for later’.”
Teh State will follow this case as it develops.
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