In what some insiders have termed an “unorthodox move”, Hugh Leatherman announced Tuesday that he intends to seek the office of Crypt Keeper in 2020. The 168 year-old Florentine will likely walk away with a tenth term in the South Carolina Senate, due mostly to his incredible ability to bring economic development and state services to the Pee Dee– an area of the state not listed on any official maps, and still considered to be “theoretical” by Jake Knotts.
“Running for the office of Crypt Keeper is something I have prayed long and hard about, and I know it’s the right thing for me, and the citizens of Florence County. Have any of you seen what we’ve been able to do while keeping taxes low and economic growth booming? Imagine how well we’ll be able to do with the full backing of the underworld!” Leatherman cackled ominously.
Wilberforce Folks, an heretofore unknown blogger in South Carolina, offered strong support for Leatherman. “Senator Leatherman has done such a fantastic job for the citizens of South Carolina during the past ten terms, that the least I can do is offer my support of any office he seeks. He’s more than just my Senator– he supports me, loves me, teaches me not to plagiarize, and frankly he’s like a father to me.”
The current Crypt Keeper, Bob Dole, was unavailable for comment at press time.
Be the first to comment on "Leatherman Seeks Tenth Term, Eyes Office of Crypt Keeper in 2020"